BROKEN CAMERAS AND JERRY SEINFELD

It's been an emotional morning. The camera we have used to tape 500 plus BalconyTVs has died. Its dead. Its worn out. Completly lacking consciousness. Deceased. Defunct. Departed.

To be perfectly honest its a complete pain in the neck. How can a camara just stop working? It was brand new when we got it. When I shake it, it does sound like something has come loose. Hmmmmm...

The worst part of it all is that as its died, its kidnapped a tape inside it. The footage may be gone forever now.

We'll have to do something special with the camera now. Spray paint it gold, and hang it from our Christmas tree maybe.

Speaking of Christmas. I just heard that Jerry Seinfeld is in Dublin today and is going to be on the Toy Show tonight. This information has made me delerious, being a massive fan of geeky preportions.

I've tryed to figure out where hes staying. Is he doing a press junket? Can BalconyTV get in on it.

I had to make myself stop thinking of the possibilities. It has been wrecking my head ever since.

So I decided to make myself a cup of coffee. I spooned in the coffee. Big spoon of sugar. Waited for the water to boil. Took out some Dunnes Stores chocey biscuits. Considered life. Poured the boiling water into the cup. Stirred. Reached for the milk...

Oh no!!!!!!!!! Too light!

MAIRTIN DE COGAIN at the Awards

More coverage from the BalconyTV Music Video Awards which we held in June. Here in Part 7 is Mairtin De Cogains performance.

MORE BALCONYTV MUSIC VIDEO AWARDS

While trying to find information to go along with the Bin Tax Protest show today, I came accross the website Indymedia.ie. Now there is a good website.
Delighted to say we have uploaded two more parts of the BalconyTV Internet Awards we held in the Sugar Club in June. Part 5 features the Best Female Award which was won by Leanne Harte. And Part 6 features Colm Lynchs performance. Colm won Best Male at the awards. When we have the whole show uploaded we will organise them all on our BalconyTV Music Video Awards page.

The BalconyTV Internet Awards 2007 - Part 5 - Best Female Award


The BalconyTV Internet Award 2007 - Part 6 - Colm Lynch

The GoldenSpider Awards

Its high time I contributed to this blog again. The hangover from last weeks BalconyTV Internet Award and Golden Spiders almost fully subsided. We reckon the BalconyTV Award was a huge success - congrats to MenuPages - but the GoldenSpiders was a depressing affair, after I went along against my better judgement.
Needless to say we lost in the only category we entered. Best Blog was won by Headrambles. We never really deserved to win Best Blog, infact we never really deserved to be nominated.
The awards were about money and greed. People trying to sell you their wares left right and centre, glutoness fat cats guzzled champagne and wine, while the women were busting from the seems in the bustiest sense. I have to say it must have been the bustiest night on the entertainment calender. I haven't seen so many busts in ages. I guess it wasn't that bad.
Classily enough, each seat at the awards dinner had a 'Lifeline' resting nearby. That said it all for me.
Glenda Gilson did look resplendid though in person. Every person I have met since has said 'ahhhh, I don't really like her'...or ofcoarse...'she looks like a horse'.
Well if thats the case, shes my type of horse!
Excuse my spelling, I know I've messed up.
'The Darjeeling Limited' in very good by the way. Check it out.

JUDGES GALORE

So here are the team of judges we put together for the BalconyTV Internet Award. A whose who of personalities I'm sure you'll agree.

Ruairi Carroll from FM104s "Open Mic"

The legendary Shay Healy.

Andrea Horan of ThinkHousePR.

Ciaran Dunne, Producer of NewsTalks 'Down To Business'

Stephen McCormack, Co-Founder of Wildwave.

Fergal Breen of IrishDev.

And finally, the ultra cool Alison Curtis of TodayFM.

Thanks to all the judges for taking part. We'll see you on the beach!

And a final final plug...plug...plug...the awards are on tomorrow night!

The BalconyTV Internet Award will take place tomorrow also at 6.30PM sharp. Anybody who wants to come along, drop us an email and we'll sort it. Wine will flow plentifully in what will be the shortest award ceremony of all time.

TOP TEN MUSIC PERFORMANCES

After watching a cheesy tv movie about David Letterman last night, I thought I should do a few top ten lists. I haven't done a top ten list in ages. There is not much need now though, because if you go to our archive you can simply click 'Most Viewed' and they will organise all our shows in order of views. Anyway, just for the sake of it, and since this blog is nominated for 'Best Blog' (hint hint hint, vote vote vote), and I need to fill this space with inane material, here goes.

The Top Ten Music Performances on BalconyTV since time began.

1 - Zoe Conway and John McIntyre - 32'316 Views
Although helped by featuring on the front page of YouTube Ireland for a week, this performance is simply amazink!

2 - Paul Brady - 22'542 Views
He's been top of the pops ever since he performed on BalconyTV, highlighting his legendary status!

3 - Elavator - 18'203
What BalconyTV is all about. A great indie band performing in the pouring rain. This video featured as part of YouTube Irelands launch.

4 - Eleanor McEvoy - 16'970
Another legend of Irish music, hence another 16'970 views. Eleanor has been a great supporter of BalconyTV.

5 - Luan Parle - 13'071
Winner of Best Female at the Meteor Awards and the highest new entry. It took us months to convince Luan parle to climb the stairs of BalconyTV. But the trek has paid off in under two months!

6 - Eleanor McEvoy - 10'966
Eleanors first performance on BalconyTV. A song about the Celtic Tiger. The Fields of Dublin Four.

7 - Leanne Harte - 10'388
This performance won Leanne the Best Female award at the BalconyTV Music Video Awards. Nuff said.

8 - Lorraine O' Reilly - 9'757
This was our 99th show believe it or not. Lorraine has far more than 99 views though.

9 - White Noise and Hemlock - 8'938
Some beatboxing madness.

10 - Una Healy - 6'958
Una is not sorry to make the top ten. Get it.

That makes 7 female in our top ten list. Interesting, very interesting. What does that mean?

BONO AND AWARDS

I see Bono gave quite a spirited defense of U2 yesterday on RTE news when he was asked about that band moving their tax affairs to The Netherlands. I never thought of that excuse. Its a politicians anwser, but a brilliant politicians anwser nevertheless. Let the man just run for president of the world already.
I had this strange dream I was at a U2 concert. Bono kept cracking jokes that were unfunny, and giving aniqdotes that were uninteresting. He spotted me not paying attention and got very angry. Basil Fawlty style. It was completly bizarre. In fairness to Bono in the dream he sat down to chat about our differences, and before you know it, I was a U2 stage hand. Bono would run off between songs, and I would give him jars of olives!
Dreams. I dunno. Barking mad.
Here are the nominations for the BalconyTV Internet Award again. We can link from this page, but we haven't figured out how to link from our main page yet. Thats kind of embarressing a year and a half later. Complete paddy wackery on our behalf.
www.blinder.ie
www.overheardindublin.com
www.tailoredfilms.ie
www.menupages.ie
www.irishhealth.ie
Thanks again to everybody who suggested sites. We will announce the winner on a special BTV next Friday.
And if you have a chance, and you just love this blog. Vote for us at the Golden Spiders. Time is running out, and if we are going along for 260 squid, we might aswell bleedin win.
Here is yesterdays BTV Internet Award nomination show again for your viewing pleasure...

Bits and bobs

So the nominations for the BalconyTV Internet Award have been announced. We have had tons of suggestions. We were simply looking for five cool websites. There were no special requirements, no categories and no entry fee. Myself, Pauline and Tom created the shortlist which will go to judges now. Hopefully we can announce who they are in the next few days.
It was a close call for some websites. The one website I would have liked to see in was PostExpression. Unfortunatly for PostExpression, Pauline thought it was just too creepy.
BalconyTV will host the BalconyTV Internet Award bash at 6.30PM on Thursday, in what must surely be the shortest awards bash in awards bash history. The awards will act as a kind of pre GoldenSpiders party.
Speaking of the GoldenSpiders, its not too late to vote for us! Please vote for us! You can do that here.
We will re open submissions for the BalconyTV Internet Awards 2008 after Thursday night.
Some quick reviews. Into The Wild - Bleak, very very bleak. Super Mario Galaxy - Happy, very very happy.

MORE AWARDS COVERAGE

Here is more coverage from The BalconyTV Music Video Awards which we held in the Sugar Club in June. Part 3 features the Best Male Award which was won by Colm Lynch. And Part 4 features Eleanor McEvoys performance. More to come soon, and when all is uploaded we will place the videos neatly on our special awards show page which you'll notice on the main page.
By the way, we will be announcing the nominations for the BalconyTV Internet Award on a special BalconyTV on Friday. Wonderful.

The BalconyTV Music Video Awards 2007 - Part 3 - Best Male Award


The BalconyTV Music Video Awards 2007 - Part 4 - Eleanor McEvoy

ONE MILLION VIEWS AND COUNTING!!!

BalconyTV has finally achieved the grand total of one million individual YouTube views. Days ahead of our target. This may not mean anything to most, but to us, with our meager resources, we are suitably chuffed.
Uploading a daily show a day for approx one year and five months (how has this happened), and recently adding BalconyTV Hamburg, we have created an archive of over 550 shows. Shows have been watched on average over 1800 times each. Our videos combined our viewed over 100'000 times per month. Just goes to show what you can do with a computer, standard camcorder and a garden light - which only just blew this week.
Hip Hip, hurray.

BEBOS AND AWARDS

Pauline has set up the Official BalconyTV Bebo page, designed in true Pauline style. Pauline will keep track of whats going on Bebowise, so give her a bell if you are a Beboer.
Four days left to get your suggestions in for the BalconyTV Internet Award. Tick, tick, tick...
Went to see 'Garage' yesterday. The film is about loneliness, the unjustness of life and how rural Ireland messes with your head. Pat Short is fantastic in the lead role, but after only a few minutes into the film your realise...this character is too nice...something bad is going to happen to him. The whole movie you watch and think, oh no...here we go. Lo and beholdst something bad does happen. The film comes across depressing for depressings sake. Pity really. There could maybe have been something else there.
We have begun uploading the BalconyTV Music Video Awards to teh archives which we held in the Sugar Club in June. Here is Part 1 and Part 2 featuring Red Kid and Leanne Harte.

AWARDS JARGON

My good god, Irish Broadband is letting me down today like you have no idea. Broadband...more like Thinband...heh heh.
Anyway I've just learned from Mulleys blog that the Golden Spider Best Blog Category (which we are nominated for) is open to public vote.
Which means you have to go to the Golden Spider Website and actually vote for this blog. Or any other blog you want for that matter.
Mulley goes on to say that he wants to win (and I reckon he will), so he can make a speech on the night and stick two fingers up at the Academy. He also says that he too will be set up an award night to compete with the Spiders.
I'm not sure more awards shows are the anwser. Once again, our gripe with the Golden Spiders is that by charging high entry and attendence fees, they fail to encourage people who set up websites based on good ideas, but who may just so happen to be poor. If the Golden Spiders and indeed The Digital Media Awards, and while were at it the Net Visionary Awards, were to change their business model and were a to actually reward websites based on merit, well then they could by all means own the market when it comes to awards shows.
At the end of the day, these awards are held in much of the wrong spirits.
The problem with hosting other award shows is that simply there are not enough good websites out there. Since we set up The BalconyTV Internet Award last month we have found originality coupled with good design hard to come by. Thats the sad truth about the Irish internet world. Theres little heart, little flair, little imagination, and far, far too much greed.
In saying all that The BalconyTV Internet Award is still open for suggestions. We have only one category, and only one award. We've called the deadline date as the 12th of November. Although we are flexible if you have some brainwave. And you can watch our very own internet award show here on BalconyTV on the 22nd of November.
By the way, I got to see that film that I couldn't get to see yesterday. 'Interview' starring Steve Buscemi and Sienna Miller. Boring Oring Arsenal. Not very good at all at all.

FREE MOVIE SCRIPT

STEPHEN GOES TO THE MOVIES
by
Stephen O' Regan

Int. UGC. Day

Stephen (20 something) walks into the UGC cinemas in Dublins Parnell Street. The cinema is huge and intimidating. Shiny esculators seems to go up endlessly, like something you might see in a futuristic sci fi film with a bleak souless vision of the world.

Reaching into his pocket Stephen takes his Lazer card out. A look of annoyance comes over his face as he realises hes forgotten his 17.95 a month UGC card entitling him to endless movies at a flat rate.

Stephen walks up to the counter nevertheless where one solitary worker sits wearing a 'Deathproof' t-shirt.

STEPHEN
Hi, I'm really sorry about this. I've just rushed over to see a film, and it seems I have forgotten my UGC card. Is there anything you can do?

DEATHPROOF GUY
No. Sorry.

STEPHEN
You see the thing is I come here all the time. I'll be back tomorrow. Could you write it down as a note maybe?

DEATHPROOF GUY
No. Sorry.

STEPHEN
I came here just the other day and saw two films. Could you maybe look up the system?

DEATHPROOF GUY
We have no way of looking up the system.

STEPHEN
Ok, no worries. Could I speak to the manager please?

Deathproof guy calls over THE MANAGER. The Manager wears an ill fitting suit. Shirt collar half in the jacket, half out.

STEPHEN
Hi, I'm really sorry about this. You see the thing is I've just rushed over to see a film, and it seems I have forgotten my UGC card. Is there anything you can do?

MANAGER
No. Sorry.

STEPHEN
I come here all the time. I'll be here tomorrow. Could you not write it down somewhere? Take a note.

MANAGER
No. Sorry.

STEPHEN
Could you look up the system?

MANAGER
We have no way of looking up the system.

STEPHEN
Look, I'm a good customer, I spend loads of money on Popcorn and Coke.

MANAGER
Sorry.

STEPHEN
Tell you what, I'll leave my Laser card here with you overnight. Can't say better than that?

Manager says nothing. Looks blank.

MANAGER
Sir, rules are there for a reason. If we were giving out free tickets all the time chaos would ensue.

STEPHEN
Fair enough, but I'm being honest with you here. I'm going to see a really artsy pretensious indie film. I'm not lying to you. Can you not use your own judgement?

MANAGER
No. Sorry.

STEPHEN
You can't just open your mind a little bit here. Take a tiny bit of responsibility?

MANAGER
No. Sorry.

Stephen looks into the managers eyes and sees nothing. A poster of 'Sicko' hangs over the managers shoulders. The irony.

STEPHEN
Your the manager. Whats going to happen? Can you not help me out here?

MANAGER
If an auditor saw me giving a ticket to you, he could put a black mark against me.

Stephen looks around. The place is empty.

STEPHEN
I don't think an auditor is going to show up now.

MANAGER
Sorry.

STEPHEN
Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Stephen walks out of the cinema wondering is there any hope for humanity. He decides to play with the traffic.

RANDOM MUSINGS

I couldn't bring myself to writing a blog entry yesterday as I had the mother of all hangovers. Thankfully after staying in and watching approx 8 hours of Saturday night television I feel great now. The Premiership, followed by The Hundred Greatest Ads, interwoven with Tuberidy, and wrapped up with a documentary on the history of Channel 4 - which was particularly interesting may I say.
On Friday night I went to see Paulines band AlanAlda support the fantastically entertaining Radio Prague. Radio Prague make an effort to entertain the crowd, and its seems they get their reward through a strong following. Live is where it's at folks!
And AlanAlda with no bias are one of the great unrecognized bands in Ireland. I urge anyone to visit their myspace and have a listen to some of them tunes.
Two movie tips. Went to see Michael Moores 'Sicko' which was surprisingly brilliant. Ignore the petty critisim, it deserves your attention.
And then there is 'Death at a Funeral' which is laugh out loud funny. No no really. And I'm not one to laugh out loud at films, but this one actually made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion. Can't remember the last time I actually laughed out loud at a film.
Yesterday morning with the mother of all hangovers (as I already said), I went to meeting of sorts about the Jemeson Dublin International Film Festival. I have had loads of issues with the festival in recent years, and was looking forward to air my grievances. About 10 others showed up. The others seemed alot more passive than myself on the issue and thought the people in charge were doing a great job sure. I was almost pulling my hair out. I really think we set low standards in Ireland. We just accept alot of lazy approaches to things. It's not good enough for me.
Its strange though, we were asked how many films people went to see in the last month. I consider myself a film lover, have made a successful short film, and many would indeed consider me a bit of a geek on the issue of film - some would go as far as to call me a 'Dawson' - so I probably have seen 4-6 films in the cinema in the last month. But thats nothing. One person said 24 films. 24 films!
Anyhow...you can't get more random blabberings on a Sunday. Unless your reading the Sunday Independent.

DEADLINE FOR THE BALCONYTV INTERNET AWARD APPROACHING

We have set a deadline for November 12th for suggestions for the BalconyTV Internet Award. We are simply seeking five interesting, original, hopefully entertaining Irish based website concepts. The award is open to all websites no matter how big or small or how obscure. The website can be as artsy as you like. All you need to do is suggest a website; you don't even have to have developed the website yourself. If you know a good website, just contact us and let us know. You can email me at stephen@balconytv.com with your suggestions, or alternatively contact our myspace; the address is www.myspace.com/balconytv.

We have had alot of suggestions to date, but it is fair to say that there is not a huge array of talent. So ask around. What are the hidden Irish website gems?

On the 22nd of November we will announce the winner of the BalconyTV Internet Award. An award that badly needs a new title.

Meanwhile the Golden Spiders are leaving voicemails for us to purchase tickets and attend their awards night. 200plus Euros a pop. We are nominated in the Best Blog category. One of the only free entry categories.

The awards are already getting slated in blogosphere. Just look up 'golden spiders' on Google.